Let Down

Well the unexpected but welcome happy mood that I've been in for the last few weeks was shattered rudely this morning.
I went in to work, sat down & started doing the morning checks, as I've been doing for the past 5 weeks or so. I've been feeling good about myself because I'm slowly but surely mastering the new work that I've been doing.
And then I was reminded what it is like to feel really, really, shitty.
Let me explain.
In the entire company of over 500 employees, there is ONE person who I consider a friend. We don't confide in each other on a personal level at all, but we get along well, share a sense of humour and often gossip confidentially among ourselves about stuff that's going on in the company.
And I suppose this is why my mother warned me about gossiping.

Something I told him, confidentially AND tongue-in-cheek, has apparently been spreading as dangerously distorted fact through the entire department. And if it reaches the ears of one particular person (M), it will really hurt the only person who has really been good to me and helped me in possibly furthering my career. Of course, it reached M, who then confronted me with the distorted 'fact' and I was utterly devastated because the last thing I want to do is hurt this person. Why would I?
All this has served to do is:
a) Destroy any trust M might have in me, and
b) show me once again that trusting anyone will only lead to disappointment somewhere down the line when I am once again betrayed.

Yes, I am feeling very sorry for myself right now. I sobbed for 10 minutes in the loo, and then went for a long walk to try & get rid of the evidence of my tears. I managed to compose myself by turning the hurt into anger.
What hurts the most is that I feel I've come such a long way in becoming happier in myself, and have been feeling proud of myself for actually starting to interact with people again after... well never mind the details... but in one foul swoop some careless words have sent me plummeting back into a place where the temptation to just clam up and not say anything to anyone about anything, no matter how mundane; to just stop talking to everyone completely, is almost overwhelming.
I don't want to do that. It's not healthy.
And I am pissed off as hell about it.

Anyway, on that note, fortunately I am home now, having taken the afternoon off because we're going to visit friends in London this weekend.
So have a good weekend people.
I hope your day is going better than mine.