thar she blows! (pff)

We all have limits - the point past which we can no longer sit back and do nothing. They can apply to anything; the amount of alcohol we can consume before it makes us sick; The amount of time we can spend with that old but increasingly annoying friend before we stop calling; The amount of abuse we can take before walking out of a bad relationship.
Or the amount of crap we can put up with at work before we down tools and walk out.
It's much like a car's engine. The engine has limits. If you continuously rev it into the red then at some point it's going to break down - normallly in a spectacularly smokey fashion, as anyone who has ever watched motorsport will know.
Well, today I feel like a Formula 1 engine that has been pushed too far in one too many races. Although, strangely enough, I don't feel like blowing up in a brief but fiery explosion. Instead, I feel like simply stopping. I have been battling with the same problem for months now: lack of co-operation from people with whom I am supposed to work closely, simply due to the nature of my job and theirs. I have been pretending not to notice being ignored. I have constantly told myself that it surely must be my imagination and there isn't really a clear complete and utter lack of respect shown towards me. I've had a rough couple of years emotionally so it makes sense that I'm simply being over-sensitive.
But you wanna know something? I have failed to convince myself and this morning's events have left me deflated, demotivated and downright gatvol*

The worst part is that as much as I want to leave, there are a lot of reasons not to do so.
I just got a really nice salary increase and have been booked on a training course in April that will be really good for me. Plus, although just short of 2 years may seem a reasonable length of time to be in a particular role, I don't feel that my skills and knowledge are sufficient yet to go out there and get another DBA position. There is still too much I don't know. And I really don't know what other job I would want to do. So I'm kinda stuck. And I don't have the mental energy to figure this one out right now.

So I'll tell you the good news instead:

Our Daff's started flowering while we were away in Spain.**


Cool eh?

~~

* An Afrikaans word that translates almost literally to 'arse-full', but more loosely to having just had enough. As Afrikaans words go, this is one of my favourites.
** Pictures and stories to follow shortly, just as soon as I've caught up on enough sleep to not feel like a zombie, and thus write something slightly entertaining for y'all.