Tuesday, February 27, 2007

thar she blows! (pff)

We all have limits - the point past which we can no longer sit back and do nothing. They can apply to anything; the amount of alcohol we can consume before it makes us sick; The amount of time we can spend with that old but increasingly annoying friend before we stop calling; The amount of abuse we can take before walking out of a bad relationship.
Or the amount of crap we can put up with at work before we down tools and walk out.
It's much like a car's engine. The engine has limits. If you continuously rev it into the red then at some point it's going to break down - normallly in a spectacularly smokey fashion, as anyone who has ever watched motorsport will know.
Well, today I feel like a Formula 1 engine that has been pushed too far in one too many races. Although, strangely enough, I don't feel like blowing up in a brief but fiery explosion. Instead, I feel like simply stopping. I have been battling with the same problem for months now: lack of co-operation from people with whom I am supposed to work closely, simply due to the nature of my job and theirs. I have been pretending not to notice being ignored. I have constantly told myself that it surely must be my imagination and there isn't really a clear complete and utter lack of respect shown towards me. I've had a rough couple of years emotionally so it makes sense that I'm simply being over-sensitive.
But you wanna know something? I have failed to convince myself and this morning's events have left me deflated, demotivated and downright gatvol*

The worst part is that as much as I want to leave, there are a lot of reasons not to do so.
I just got a really nice salary increase and have been booked on a training course in April that will be really good for me. Plus, although just short of 2 years may seem a reasonable length of time to be in a particular role, I don't feel that my skills and knowledge are sufficient yet to go out there and get another DBA position. There is still too much I don't know. And I really don't know what other job I would want to do. So I'm kinda stuck. And I don't have the mental energy to figure this one out right now.

So I'll tell you the good news instead:

Our Daff's started flowering while we were away in Spain.**

Cool eh?


* An Afrikaans word that translates almost literally to 'arse-full', but more loosely to having just had enough. As Afrikaans words go, this is one of my favourites.
** Pictures and stories to follow shortly, just as soon as I've caught up on enough sleep to not feel like a zombie, and thus write something slightly entertaining for y'all.


beadinggalinMS said...

A very pretty daf! :)
Come sit with me and have some cheese and crackers and wash it down with a nice bottle of Powerade. Mountain Blast flavor.
We will eat and drink our problems away for the time being. :)

angel said...

oh dear t... i'll keep you in my prayers for your work hassles! your daffodils are luvverly! you know whats funny- i didn't even notice the afrikaans word till i read your postscript!

Terri said...

Beads - I'll be right over ;)

Angel - Thanks, Doll. And you know it's quite astounding just how many Afrikaans words we use every day - I never noticed how much until we moved over here. The Irish don't understand words like dof and mos... it took a lot of practise to start using English alternatives.

kyknoord said...

Anger normally screws with one's ability to think rationally, but you seem to have found a way of working around that. That's pretty impressive.

anne said...

Easier said than done, probably, but simply ignore them back...

chitty said...

A blow-up does wonders for the psyche... as long as the debris end up on someone else's face.

babysis said...

I can totally relate, hey at least you didn't fly off the handle and donner someone. Great display of self-restraint.

DelBoy said...

I think you should take up kick boxing cuz. Just to get rid of that inner rage. I do feel sorry for the punch bag though.

Looking forward to your Spain pics.

Reluctant Nomad said...

I don't mind who you blow up but don't start stomping on the daffs.

Hurry up with the Spain stuff!

Terri said...

Kyknoord - ... asssuming, of course, one could think rationally to start with.

Anne - Ah yes, the old 'tit for tat' routine. I sort of am, but it doesn't stop me feeling crap, because I sort of used to think these people were my friends. Just goes to show eh?!

Chitty - Just waiting for the right time and place. You guys will be the first to hear about it, I promise ;)

Babysis - Oh look: She speaks!! :)
Self-restraint mmmm Ja that's me.

Delboy - I'll take that under advisement. Not a bad idea actually. Except I sorta hit like a girl.

Nomad - Not the Daffs, Never the Daffs!! And okay okay the Spain stuff is coming.
Sheesh, no rest for the wicked with you lot!