Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Husband, Father, Zombie-slayer

Something spooked me, and I gathered both children to me, my arms around them so they wouldn't stray. They were about 11 or 12 years old and they were frightened. We would be safer together. I began edging us towards the door that would lead us into the next room, to where I knew D was, to where he could protect us. Looking around I noticed there were poeple under the bed.
No, not people, corpses! Their wax-like features unmoving, dead eyes staring straight ahead. I started feeling freaked out and then I saw a pair of eyes moving, following us. Panic welled inside and I tried to hurry us to the door, knowing safety was just on the other side but unsure if we would reach it in time. My steps were tiny, as if there was some sort of binding around the three of us, restraining us. I tried to call for help but my mouth was taped shut and my shouts were mere whimpers. I realised I could reach the tape that was covering the child's mouth. As I ripped it off he screamed in terror, for the corpses were Zombies and they were writhing and moving and coming to get us! At last my mouth was freed of its tape and I screamed too, as long and loud as I could...

... I woke myself up. My heart pounded in my chest, my mouth burned dry and I was so hot I felt as if I might melt. Sweat poured off me in rivulets. Next to me, D slept soundly, his breathing even and content. I was too afraid to move any more than just my eyes, scanning the shadows that mocked me from all corners of our bedroom. Still blurry from sleep, I fought the need to close my eyes, fearful of returning to that place.
I needed water, but was terrified of the darkness and what might be lurking in our en-suite bathroom.
I needed D, awake.
So I wriggled over to him as noisily as I could. His breathing didn't change. I wriggled some more and put my hand gently on his shoulder - I needed him to wake gently, not with fright.
His breathing altered slightly but then reverted to its familiar rhythm.
Scooting back over to my side of the bed I wondered, Should I give up now? The thirst still burned in my throat and I inched back over to him, making my presence felt. He stirred but didn't wake.
I sort of felt bad so frumped my way back onto my side and propped myself up on one elbow, trying to convince myself it was safe.
And then he woke up, with a groggy, "What you doing?"
Must've thought I was getting out of bed. He always wakes when I get out of bed.
I was delighted and dashed back over to him, mumbling, "Bad dream!".
He hugged me and slurred, "What sorta bad dream?"
"Monsters!" said I.
"Oh no, not monsters!" he said, "Don't worry I'll protect you."
A moment of silence while he held me sleepily, and then...
"Would you get me some water please?"
To be fair, if he'd woken me up with stories of monsters and asked me to get him water I would've told him to f*£~ off, but not my man. Nope, he forced his eyes open and groped his way out of bed, stopping to pick up the nearest weapon he could find - his hairbrush - then stomped his way to the bathroom, making lots of thumping noises and hitting the Big Bad Brush on the ground, all the while assuring me that he was giving the monsters a beating. Upon reaching the basin he said, "You want me to bring you some water, eh?"
"Ah no, don't worry, the cup in there is all yucky - just put the light on and I'll come drink from the tap."
So he did, and I did.
When we were safely back in bed again, he asked what sort of monsters they were.
"Zombies," I said.
"Well don't you worry, I turned them into paste, they're all gone now."
My hero.
I slept like a baby after that.


The moral of the story? My mother was right about eating cheese late at night. Next time I'll go easy on the pizza before bedtime.


Anonymous said...

Ha, ha, ha! Y'see..I told you!

Jeff said...

I hate waking up from a bad dream knowing when I get back to sleep the same dream may pick right up where it left off. Ahhhhhhh!

Fence said...

Well, I suppose once the Zombie-paste didn't attack...

Terri said...

Mom - Thanks for the sympathy.

Jeff - Normally if I turn over onto my other side it's OK but I just knew they'd be back to find me if I fell asleep immediately!

Fence - no, Zombie-paste is quite harmless. You can actually use it to hang wallpaper.

Reluctant Nomad said...

I was watching 1950s B-grade schlock-horrors about zombies last night.

They were hilarious. But there were no references to zombie-paste

Anonymous said...

That was really sweet. :) You've got a great monster-killer there.

anne said...

Moral of the story is you've gone and married the only hero left in this world, more like! Jack Bauer beware and all that... ;)

Angelina said...

Wow, what a horrible dream! I have very vivid dreams quite often that leave me feeling exhausted when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes they're disturbing but I haven't had a real nightmare in ages-- thankfully. Glad you're hero saved you, what a great guy :)

Dawn said...

Jy is lekker mal, jy weet - and your Mom's comment made me lag! In spite of the fact that it is 4.21am and I have to be up at 7am, I wanted to tell you that I have done it, and met the technical challenges, too! Have a very, very Happy Easter, my friend. xox

Terri said...

Nomad - If these were 1950's zombies maybe they wouldn't have been so scary. Special effects have come a long way since then.

Jason - I do... he does spiders, too :) In fact once he even shot a crab that he thought was coming to 'get' me. (It was a really big crab!)

Anne - Aye. Although nobody says "HOLSTER YOUR WEAPON!!!" quite like Jack.

Angelina - That's the thing; so often it's not so much the dream itself as the feeling you're left with when you wake up.

Dawn - And you say I'm mad?! I'll be right over to have a look :)

LiVEwiRe said...

Do you have those TV commercials there where the tagline is 'Behold, the power of cheese!'? And here I thought they meant that in a good way! Monster slayer is a good title.

angel said...

aaaawww... isn't he just the sweetest! so did he vacuum up the zombie mush in the morning or was that your job?

Terri said...

LiVEwiRe - er, no, although we do have one where a woman carries a photo of cheese in her purse which I find just a tad disturbing.

Angel - The good thing about zombie-paste is that it dissolves and disappears by morning so, no mess and very little fuss ;)