Saturday, January 06, 2007

farewells in the new year

My stepson is going back home to SA next Friday and I'm already fretting about him leaving. This time more than normal (although I'm not exactly losing sleep over it) because it's all about to change.
He turns 18 in April (I'm trying not to dwell on just how old that makes me feel!) and he's starting his last year of high-school. The next time we see him he will probably have finished with school... and this is where it all gets kinda 'iffy'.
The way I see it, the next time we see him he be a young man who will be making his way in the world and somehow it's like something is ending. I still sometimes yearn for my own childhood, when I was one of three sisters with my single-parent SuperMom and we all lived together as a family. And now I guess it's like my 'new' family is about to begin breaking apart as well.

You see my Mom is in SA, as is my one sister, but they live in different cities; my other sister lives in London and I am here in Dublin. Not exactly easy to organise afternoon coffee together, y'know?
And now with the Stepson on the brink of leaving the nest (even though it's technically his mother's nest, not mine) I guess I feel like I have to say goodbye to something. Who knows if we'll ever spend a Christmas together like this last one, a family of me, Hubby and both his kids. It's a little unnerving for someone like me, who has serious trouble saying goodbye at the best of times.
My Stepdaughter has only been living with us for a year and she'll finish school next year so it's a bit of a double-whammy. It's like I've only just started getting used to living as a family and it's all going to end too soon. Most people have 12 years per child of PTA meetings and stuff. I only went to my first one ever about 2 months ago! I never wanted children of my own but somehow I feel like I've missed out on something here.

Now don't panic - I haven't been kidnapped by aliens and I'm not pining for a little bundle of joy of my own (although occasionally my biological clock wakes up for about half an hour to disagree with me). I guess I'm just a little apprehensive about change.
The fact that my 35th birthday is looming probably doesn't help... I always get a little weird before my birthday and I think with this one I'm finally having to accept that I can no longer fool myself into believing I'm still a kid.
Mid-life crisis?
I dunno.
I'll think about that tomorrow when I go for a ride on my new motorcycle..!

16 comments:

Del said...

He, he, he. Doesn't sound like you at all. You sure you didn't have too much sherry at Christmas or sneak too much brandy sauce with your Christmas pud?
BTW, I'll definitely go have coffee with your Super-Mum and big sis while I'm at home.

Lori said...

Ride till your hearts content.

hugs

jason evans said...

I get a bit overwhelmed by major life changes also. I think you're right to sense one here.

I'm with Lori. A long motorcycle ride may help.

Kiwichat said...

Whow! was that my freind Terri... I'm sure it's a lack of OB's dont you think.I was so shock when you sent pic's over to me last year on how they have growin up, gosh where have all those years gone.

Love your bike, do tell me what it is as my hubby is keen to know.Hope you had an amazing ride can't wait to hear all about it.
Hubby is dieing to get a bike for us to cruise on by the end of the year. Loved the pic's of you and D's travels. Envious may I say.

Terri said...

Del - Too much sherry? Me? Never!

Lori - Ok, if you insist ;)

Jason - Don't you just wish sometimes you could pull an emergency break and stop the world for a little while?

Kiwichat - I'm sure you're dying for him to get a bike just as much as he is! Mine is a 125cc Yamaha YBR. It's quite small but then I wanted something small as a starter. Thanks for popping in here!

LiVEwiRe said...

Change is hard under the best of circumstances, as is saying goodbye. Thing is, you don't really know where life will take you or any member of your family. The best laid plans have a way of coming up with plans of their own, it seems. Birthdays do complicate matters. In light of that, I think perhaps we should halt all birthdays this year and resume where we left off when we see fit. What do you say? ;) Here's hoping that motorcycle ride made you feel much better!

kyknoord said...

Motorcycles and midlife crises were made for one another. I hope you enjoy yours as much as I did mine :-)

Spookie the Warrior said...

It's funny how children can have such a profond effect on us hey? Step children or our own. I know I am expereincing both types too. I am sure though that the two of them will join you again for Christmas - perhaps not every year as they will have their own lives to be starting, but they are still going to be around for many yearsand just cuase they are finishng scholl doesn't mean you stop being a step mom. They won't forget you I am sure.

Spookie the Warrior said...

...erm... sorry I meant finishing School. Scholl sounds like some kind of german salute!! LOL!!

Terri said...

LiVEwIre - I think that's the best plan I've heard in a while!

Kyknoord - I fully intend to ;)

Spookie - Isn't 'scholl' what the old butler used to say in that comedy they used to show on SABC every new year... "Dinner for One", I think it was. I loved that show!

Ben O. said...

Wow, sounds like alot is going on over there in Beautiful Dublin these days. Conrats on the new motorcycle and hopefully the goodbyes will be good ones.

Ben O.

Jeff said...

Saying goodbye is always hard. A nice long bike ride sounds like just the thing! :)

angel said...

ag shame terri- the end of an "era" indeed- however brief... it'll be so cool for you to hang out with the step kids as adults!

Spookie the Warrior said...

LOL!! Yes, I think it was!! I didn't watch that this year - I love how he tripos over that stupid tigers head all the time. I had forgotten all about it!!

"Scholl!!"

Terri said...

Ben O. - Ah sure never a dull moment, eh?!

Jeff - That seems to be the general consensus... there's something to be said for a mid-life crisis ;)

Angel - Good point. It's been so much fun spending time with them as little adults.

Spookie - LOL! You and me both, Doll :-D

Reluctant Nomad said...

My 18 year old son is on his gap year this year. At some stage, probably quite soon, he'll base himself with me. As much as I look forward to it, can you imagine how it's going to clip my wings?