Friday, September 23, 2005

invisible monsters

She tiptoes through the days, careful not to offend or get in anybody's way. She zig-zags as she walks in the city to avoid bumping people as much as possible. On the train, she squeezes herself into a corner, out of the way, and makes herself as small as possible; she doesn't want to seem to be selfishly taking up too much space during the rush-hour commute. Her work is always up-to-date and she is always there on time. She keeps her head down, does slightly more than what is expected and speaks only inane pleasantries to those she works with. It's best not to get too close; cleaner, less complicated.

But small cracks have begun to appear.
Was it really necessary for that woman to push in front of her to board the train?
Why did that guy at work not find the information himself?
If she had left work just two minutes earlier, she would have made it to the bank in time...

Today she can feel a cold coming on - her throat is scratchy and she was sneezing earlier. She also has toothache, which kept her from having a good night's sleep.
She is tired.
She overslept and then undercooked her egg, so she left for work without any breakfast.
She is hungry.
And then PMS kicks in.

Approaching the station she shoves a teenage boy who pushed through the door in front of her and then stopped dead in his tracks. She sticks her foot out and trips the snooty woman who jostled her as she walked past. When she sits down on the train, she 'accidentally' kicks the shins of the girl sitting opposite as she crosses her legs, to make the girl shifts to give her more space. Feeling a slight bump as the man next to her raises a drinking yoghurt to his mouth, she elbows him so he spills some on his trendy tie.
Stomping along the sidewalk from the station to her office, people move out of her path. The homeless man on the corner turns away from her glare.

The storm gathering in her heart is reflected in her eyes and she sees that everyone is tiptoeing around her, for a change. Sounds in the office are amplified inside her head - ringing phones echo, the click-clack on keyboards reverberates and the babble of voices grows louder and louder until she thinks her head might explode.

After a day filled with dirty looks and curt answers snapped out to questions others dared to ask, she makes it back to the safety of her apartment, her nerves as taut as piano wire.

She locks herself away in the candle-lit cocoon of her home, where a large dose of chocolate and a deep, hot bath allow her to relax and metamorphose back into the shy, timid pushover the world is used to seeing.

But she knows it is just a matter of time before the monster inside resurfaces... and next time it may not be quieted so easily...

11 comments:

anne said...

Man. Remind me not to step on your toes, like, ever. ;)

Underachiever said...

umm. yeah, umm I'll be over here. Yeah the one huddled in the corner.

Lub,

undr

LiVEwiRe said...

WooHoo! Let 'er roar baby! Oops. I mean, uh... no, that is exactly what I mean. Everyone has their breaking point. Sometimes life is an us or them kind of game; survival of the fittest (or bitchiest considering the PMS) fits in here. But it can still come with guilt. I enjoyed reading this; I found myself leaning in closer and close as it went on. Be back right after I wipe the nose prints off the monitor...

Lori said...

I luved this I found it kinda funny then again I am an evil twin LOL. I think everyone feels likes this sometimes and sometimes everyone acts like this LOL.

ChittyChittyBangBang! said...

Damn, she had an extremely trying day.
I say bugger it and why not take it take it out on the unsuspecting public? Someone's got to pay the price and I'd settle for anyone else but me. :)
Hope she had a good weekend and that today is better.

Terri said...

Anne & Undr, don't be afraid, I don't bite, really... {mwahahahaha!}
LiVEwiRe, somehow I knew u'd appreciate this one.
Lori & Chitty, the feelings were real, the actions were wishful thinking... and yes, she had a lovely weekend, lots of chocolate and is much better today
:-)

BUDDESS said...

You realy have a way with words. Brilliant. I can send my cat along next time you feel like that!!!

kyknoord said...

... and she knows how to use a gun!

Terri said...

Buddess hehehe, is that the little kitty with the ak47? Love that, just love it!
KN yes but I wouldn't actually shoot someone just cos they pissed me off... no really, I wouldn't ;-P

forgottenmachine said...

Well, I wasn't planning on leaving a comment, but then I read this and thought I better change my mind....rapidly!!!

Oh, and came via Livewire, if you were wondering....

Terri said...

Thanks for the visit, FM I'll be seeing u in the blink of an eye...