invisible monsters

She tiptoes through the days, careful not to offend or get in anybody's way. She zig-zags as she walks in the city to avoid bumping people as much as possible. On the train, she squeezes herself into a corner, out of the way, and makes herself as small as possible; she doesn't want to seem to be selfishly taking up too much space during the rush-hour commute. Her work is always up-to-date and she is always there on time. She keeps her head down, does slightly more than what is expected and speaks only inane pleasantries to those she works with. It's best not to get too close; cleaner, less complicated.

But small cracks have begun to appear.
Was it really necessary for that woman to push in front of her to board the train?
Why did that guy at work not find the information himself?
If she had left work just two minutes earlier, she would have made it to the bank in time...

Today she can feel a cold coming on - her throat is scratchy and she was sneezing earlier. She also has toothache, which kept her from having a good night's sleep.
She is tired.
She overslept and then undercooked her egg, so she left for work without any breakfast.
She is hungry.
And then PMS kicks in.

Approaching the station she shoves a teenage boy who pushed through the door in front of her and then stopped dead in his tracks. She sticks her foot out and trips the snooty woman who jostled her as she walked past. When she sits down on the train, she 'accidentally' kicks the shins of the girl sitting opposite as she crosses her legs, to make the girl shifts to give her more space. Feeling a slight bump as the man next to her raises a drinking yoghurt to his mouth, she elbows him so he spills some on his trendy tie.
Stomping along the sidewalk from the station to her office, people move out of her path. The homeless man on the corner turns away from her glare.

The storm gathering in her heart is reflected in her eyes and she sees that everyone is tiptoeing around her, for a change. Sounds in the office are amplified inside her head - ringing phones echo, the click-clack on keyboards reverberates and the babble of voices grows louder and louder until she thinks her head might explode.

After a day filled with dirty looks and curt answers snapped out to questions others dared to ask, she makes it back to the safety of her apartment, her nerves as taut as piano wire.

She locks herself away in the candle-lit cocoon of her home, where a large dose of chocolate and a deep, hot bath allow her to relax and metamorphose back into the shy, timid pushover the world is used to seeing.

But she knows it is just a matter of time before the monster inside resurfaces... and next time it may not be quieted so easily...