a passionate argument

Not so very long ago someone accused me of not being a very passionate person. This would have been one of those occasions when I could have used my very own pocket-sized Chitster, master of witty comebacks and glib arguments. (Well... mostly ;)

As it was, though, I found myself more or less speechless. Added to this was the fact that at the time I was in the grip of an extended period of depression, a state of mind which makes not just feelings of passion, but also the clarity of thought such as might be required to convincingly argue against such a statement, a tad elusive.

And so I caved. It was pretty much a lose-lose situation and I didn't have the energy to disagree with conviction.

However, this little episode has stayed with me. I have rather hairy arms, you see - not in an Orangatan sense, but in a light, downey sense, and when I was a child my mother told me that "hairy girls are passionate". So you see, there was no way this person's opinion could be correct. I refuse to believe my mother would tell me such a thing simply to make me feel better about not having a smooth, hairless complexion on my arms. Therefore I have always believed myself to be a passionate person.

I suppose my biggest passion in life has been dancing. My years of ballet dancing allowed an expression of feeling that came from deep inside; I felt euphoric when dancing. I put my heart and soul into it while I was doing it. I may not do ballet anymore, but I still adore dancing, any kind of dancing, and when music is playing I find it difficult to stand still. Which brings me to something else that invokes strong feelings and emotions in me - and after all, isn't that what passion is? That thing is Music. I don't just enjoy music, I need it. It breathes life into my soul. It can lift me up or calm me down. I don't think I could survive without music.

These are the two things that stand out in my mind right now (you can see why I didn't win that argument, can't you?!) but I'd like to change tack here.
You see, I have felt - and do feel - really intense emotions. I have been hurt so bad it was physical pain, as if I had been knifed in the chest. I have experienced an anger so intense that I literally saw only the colour red for a solid hour. I have been so happy that I have cried. And isn't that sort of intensity another facet of passion? Feeling massive highs and lows; or being consumed by thoughts of something or someone to an extent that the rest of the world seems to pass by in a blur... or is that simply obsession? Are passion and obsession not inextricably linked, though?

The other person's argument was that there is nothing in my life that I am truly passionate about. I don't have "A Thing" that is mine, that I am committed to completely. I always keep my options open, am always on the lookout for something else, and am easily distracted.

But my argument, is this:
I don't lack passion - I simply have a short attention span.

Besides, I believe balance is more important. Giving all one's attention to only one thing can only lead to trouble in other aspects of one's life. But I guess that sort of practical thinking would make a good argument for the other side. Logical thought and passion don't exactly go hand in hand, do they?

And so I find myself at the end of this post, no wiser on the subject than I was before I started writing it. Am I passionate or aren't I? Well, perhaps outwardly it may appear not. But then again, nobody but me knows what goes on inside my hairy self.
Perhaps, for now, that is how I would like to keep it.