feel free not to read any further

Seriously, feel free to stop reading now. This is not the most uplifting post I've ever written.
I won't hold it against you, promise. Just enjoy the photo and move along quietly.

I just have to get this stuff out of my head and since I don't seem able to express it out loud, this place will have to be my outlet.

I don't know how to do this. I don't remember how it feels to be a happy person.
I started on anti-depressants about a year and a half ago and stopped taking them about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I went for cognitive therapy with a psychologist. And now here I am... I don't know how to be happy. Every day is a battle. I struggle through the day at work, feeling like a deer caught in headlights every time someone talks to me and expects a response. I have a husband and a 16-year-old stepdaughter to take care of at home and all I want to do is hide in my room.
I can't believe I am talking about myself here. This doesn't happen to me! It happens to other people. I feel unable to interact with anyone or anything in my life. I feel isolated and alone. How can I share this with the people I care about? They're entitled to be happy; they don't need the burden of some miserable cow who seems to spend her time snapping at them for the slightest thing. The only thing that is keeping me going is the thought that maybe this is still side-effects from coming off the tablets. But I don't want to have to take pills just to be able to get through the days!
I can't write, either. And that used to be my salve.
Well perhaps it would be more accurate to say I have no inclination to write. Bloody hell, I have barely enough inclination to wake up in the mornings.
Sorry folks, I warned you. I'm not looking for sympathy; I'm not even looking for a response. I just needed to get some thoughts out of my head. Maybe that will make me feel better.
Because I really need to feel better.