Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Well I felt a lot better yesterday, not quite so apocalyptic. Which is not to say I wasn't a tad moody, mind you. It seemed to turn into a different type of mood though. One of those if-you-look-at-me-skew-I'll-rip-your-head-off moods. I have to say, though, that I amaze myself with the amount of self-control I am able to summon.
Or perhaps shock handicaps one's reaction times...

I was working away at my desk, trying to do something involving one of our critical systems at work, and my boss was next to me was doing some of the stuff on his PC, because it was reasonably complicated and timing was everything. I was poised to strike the 'Enter' key on my keyboard at the right moment, and while waiting for the moment to arrive, I was scooted over to his desk to watch what he was doing... when this arrogant b*tch walked over and plonked her arse ON my desk, her right cheek missing the 'Enter' key on my keyboard by millimeters, and demanded - yes, demanded - that we reset her password for a reporting application immediately.
My jaw dropped and I unceremoniously shunted my keyboard away from her Gucci-clad butt muttering something about please don't sit on my keyboard.

Instead of swatting her, though, I leaned back in my chair, folding my arms, and said, "...and you are..?".
The words were polite but I can assure you the tone wasn't and I suspect my red face (because by now my face was red on account of all the blood rushing to it in annoyance) was saying something more along the lines of, "Who the f*&! do you think you are, you irritating cow?"

She turned out to be one of the sales managers.
Well what could I do? My boss was sitting next to me, and his boss was 2 desks away. I couldn't very well smack the head off her now, could I? But oh, how I wanted to!
She could not have been ruder or more in-your-face if she'd tried, trying to pull rank because she presumes she is in a position of authority.
I think we all know by now how well I respond to bullying.
What I wanted to tell her was this:
"Lady, I don't care who you are. Get you arse off my desk before you break something, and I'm not talking about the keyboard, I'm talking about the company's Financial Reporting system. You are not singularly more important than what I am working on at the moment and we will deal with your query the same way we deal with all queries: in order of priority. And you can be damn sure that in the future the priority of your calls is going to be way down on the list. Now be a good girl and f*&! off and let me get on with my work."
Either that, or belt her.

But I did neither.
Instead I reset her password and sent her on her way, then turned to my boss and said, "That was a little rude, don't you think?"
He, of course, was trying to distance himself from the situation. He knows me well by now and I'm sure my face was like a thundercloud.
"It was, rather," was his reply as he furiously continued typing away at his keyboard, without looking at me.

And so I didn't explode. And I didn't harm anyone. And I didn't forever tarnish my impeccable work record by doing something silly that might get me fired.
I am proud.


kyknoord said...

Most impressive. I hope the Nobel committee are reading this :-)

DelBoy said...

I'm impressed too! Must have been John Cleese and the gang still playing in your head! ;-)

anne said...

Very impressive!
Stupid cow. Now... how about doing something silly like messing with the formulas in her excel program? ;)

chitty said...

I'm with the others... nicely done! If it had been me... the outcome would have been completely different... boss or no boss.
Retaliation is not always the mature thing to do, but it does help you to sleep better at night. :)

Spookie the Warrior said...

Oh Man does that EVER sound like me!! When i get into a situation like that I also get all red - LOL!! And it's like I have two voices - one with which I am speaking to whoever has made me mad, and one that is going off like a crazy lady!! And I know if I let it, she will certainly come out hissing and angry and scare the bejeebers off whoever I am handling calmly. Sometimes I wish I could just let that crazy lady in my head show herself - but I have a reputation to uphold, and plus I will NEVER, ever give anyone ammo to use against me by blowing up like that.

I have to laugh though at how we both go all red in our faces when we get mad!! Do you get flushed when you drink too? I do - can never hide that I have had a glass of wine or whatever. LOL!!

beadinggalinMS said...

Good girl!! I am proud of ya!! :)
But it would of been fun to poke her Gucci-clad butt with a straight pin just to see her jump up and squeel.

jason evans said...

Someone once told me the following axiom: "Hell is other people." There just may be truth to that.

I do hope you're feeling better, Terri.

angel said...

MAN that's impressive!
i am truly proud of you doll-
pat yourself on the back from me!

Terri said...

Kyknoord - U gonna put in a good word for me, buddy? ;)

Delboy - hahahaha! The one thing that's always guaranteed to make me smile!

Anne - ... or I could make all her documents just mysteriously disappear... mwahahahaha! How stupid do you have to be to piss off the IT department?!

Chitty - mature, um, right. See, maturity implies I'm grown-up, something I'm not quite ready to admit to yet.

Spookie - I flush very easily but anger is the quickest way. And it's really hard to, er un-flush onesself isn't it?!

Beads - lol! Man, I wish you guys would be around when these situations come up. We could have sooo much fun :-D

Jason - D'you think it would be bad form for me to print that axiom out and pin it up at my desk?
thx :)

Angel - Why thank you dear, consider my back patted.

Reluctant Nomad said...

Very impressive indeed. But, if you didn't have this blog to let off steam about it, would you still be steaming now? And, in that case, perhaps it would have been better to knock her block off. :-)

buddess said...

There you go!!! I also think that Anne has a good idea. Just imagine, it is within your power to make life a bit stressful for her....what a temptation - she deserves it the rude cow!!

Dawn said...

I wonder why we exercise that kind of restraint when clearly the person dumping their crap on us, doesn't. I guess the "punishment" might outweigh the crime, especially in work scenarios. Aren't you a bit curious though to see, just once, how these big mouths would react if you gave it straight back at them? I'm glad you walked away feeling good about what you did. Enjoy your weekend. xox
Had to come back ... my word verification letters were dwnxfup - do you think there might be a subliminal message in that about the value of my theories? haha

Jeff said...

Good for you, Terri! I'm not sure I would have been so polite. :)

Spookie the Warrior said...

Oh yes! Once that warm feeling starts creeping into your cheeks and neck, there's no stopping it. And then I look all blotchy and awful. It's a curse, I cannot hide anything because of it. And yes anger is usually the worst cause of it.

LiVEwiRe said...

I am in awe of your self control. You must teach me someday - as it stands now I speak first then try the self control thing. ;)

Terri said...

Nomad - I like the way you think ;)

Buddess - Oh, I'm sure an opportunity will present itself at some stage...

Dawn - Actually there have been one or two occasions when my temper has outrun my restraint and it hasn't been pretty. Mostly the people around me have been too shocked (or afraid?) to say anything.
Great word verification btw lol!

Jeff - Ah come now, I'm sure you're always a perfect gentleman ;)

Spookie - Exactly! Although 'creeping' might not be as accurate as 'exploding' hehe!

Livewire - You're back!!! Hello! Yay! And yes, I can imagine, hehe!

Ben O. said...

It has been scientifically proven that Gucci-clad butts do the most damage to PC keyboards.

You can look it up . . .

Ben O.

Dawn said...

Popped in to see how you are doing - a 'howzit?' visit! xox

Terri said...

Ben O - You've done the research, I trust you ;)

Dawn - Howzit right backatya! Doin' ok thx :)