restraint

Well I felt a lot better yesterday, not quite so apocalyptic. Which is not to say I wasn't a tad moody, mind you. It seemed to turn into a different type of mood though. One of those if-you-look-at-me-skew-I'll-rip-your-head-off moods. I have to say, though, that I amaze myself with the amount of self-control I am able to summon.
Or perhaps shock handicaps one's reaction times...

I was working away at my desk, trying to do something involving one of our critical systems at work, and my boss was next to me was doing some of the stuff on his PC, because it was reasonably complicated and timing was everything. I was poised to strike the 'Enter' key on my keyboard at the right moment, and while waiting for the moment to arrive, I was scooted over to his desk to watch what he was doing... when this arrogant b*tch walked over and plonked her arse ON my desk, her right cheek missing the 'Enter' key on my keyboard by millimeters, and demanded - yes, demanded - that we reset her password for a reporting application immediately.
My jaw dropped and I unceremoniously shunted my keyboard away from her Gucci-clad butt muttering something about please don't sit on my keyboard.
Instead of swatting her, though, I leaned back in my chair, folding my arms, and said, "...and you are..?".
The words were polite but I can assure you the tone wasn't and I suspect my red face (because by now my face was red on account of all the blood rushing to it in annoyance) was saying something more along the lines of, "Who the f*&! do you think you are, you irritating cow?"
She turned out to be one of the sales managers.
Well what could I do? My boss was sitting next to me, and his boss was 2 desks away. I couldn't very well smack the head off her now, could I? But oh, how I wanted to!
She could not have been ruder or more in-your-face if she'd tried, trying to pull rank because she presumes she is in a position of authority.
I think we all know by now how well I respond to bullying.
What I wanted to tell her was this:
"Lady, I don't care who you are. Get you arse off my desk before you break something, and I'm not talking about the keyboard, I'm talking about the company's Financial Reporting system. You are not singularly more important than what I am working on at the moment and we will deal with your query the same way we deal with all queries: in order of priority. And you can be damn sure that in the future the priority of your calls is going to be way down on the list. Now be a good girl and f*&! off and let me get on with my work."
Either that, or belt her.

But I did neither.
Instead I reset her password and sent her on her way, then turned to my boss and said, "That was a little rude, don't you think?"
He, of course, was trying to distance himself from the situation. He knows me well by now and I'm sure my face was like a thundercloud.
"It was, rather," was his reply as he furiously continued typing away at his keyboard, without looking at me.

And so I didn't explode. And I didn't harm anyone. And I didn't forever tarnish my impeccable work record by doing something silly that might get me fired.
See?
Self-control.
I am proud.