Wednesday, May 23, 2007

old friends revisited

Last night I dreamt about an old friend. He was one of my best friends in Primary school and the other kids used to tease us about being boyfriend and girlfriend, which really annoyed us but we didn't stop being friends. We went to the same high school, too, and although we weren't as close any more, he always held a special place in my heart. Like a brother, sort of, only not.

We lost touch after leaving school and I think the last time I saw him was in a pub when I was around 20 or 21. Wow, that's a while back, but never mind.
He was completely wasted that night and I actually got cross with him - wanted to shake him and say, "Pull yourself together!" - he was pining over losing his girlfriend, you see. I had always thought he had so much potential - he was really bright and in fact we had often vied for the spot at the top of the class when we were kids. And he came from a good family, and he had been a good friend over the years. That night I felt disappointed in him*.

I haven't heard from or about him in years, and although he has popped into my thoughts once or twice, it has been a fleeting, "I wonder what ever happened to B.." sort of thought.
But last night I dreamt about him - we bumped into each other somewhere and he was in trouble but he wasn't a 'baddie' - more like wrongly accused, or something. In my dream I was well acquainted with his accusers and I persuaded them to give him a chance. We rekindled our friendship and all was well. It was weird: I saw him so clearly in my dream and it was one of those dreams that leaves you with a feeling, the way people are closely associated with feelings in dreams... so when I arrived at work this morning I typed his name into Google and hit Enter.

My efforts were rewarded** and I got a few hits - it seems my friend has done well for himself. He has loads of fancy letters after his name and is listed as a guest speaker at some awfully prestigious-sounding events. I guess he pulled himself together. And if there were a chance these references were to another person of the same name, any doubts were soon removed because one of the hits included a photograph of him taken about 3 years ago, in a professional capacity. It may be a small photograph but it is unmistakably my friend who visited me in my dream last night. The resemblance was uncanny, especially since I haven't seen him in about, oh, I don't know, 15 years or so?!

I don't know what brought him out of my subconscious or my memories or whatever makes one dream but somehow I feel better knowing where he is (in what country, anyway) and that he has done well for himself.

I was almost tempted to send him an email (it really is amazing what information you can find in a simple web search) ... You know; "Hi this is Terri. I don't know if you remember me from a lifetime ago but I had a dream about you last night and found your details through the internet..."
Ahem. Maybe not. It could sound just a little stalker-like, teehee!
Who knows, though, perhaps one day our paths will cross again.

* Yes, I know, I set very high standards for people - I like to think I have become less judgemental of people as I've grown older.
** It's like I keep saying: Google is my friend :-)


It is the question said...

Hey Terri

You should contact him.

Two of my best friends are friends I contacted years after school.

DOn't say you dreamt of him - that might freak him out! Just say you thought of him the other day and wondered about how things turned out.

Good luck.


angel said...

i reckon you should mail him just to say howdy! whats the harm!?
i had a friend like that in highschool and after damien was born... he was one of those guys that girls swoon over, and we were so close that i actually sent him letters covered in hearts and perfume (and father's and valentines day cards) when he was in the army so he'd have to do push-ups and stuff for his mail, even though we never dated! he's married now with two kids... i think. i think of him occasionally and i hope he's well...

kyknoord said...

I disagree with IITQ. You should tell him about the dream. If you're going to creep someone out, you may as well go for broke :)

laurie said...

i think you should cotact him, too. and i agree with the above that you don't want to mention a dream, because that has conntations. and don't presume he won't remember you; he will.

i had a friend like that, too--best friend since 2nd grade, went all through high school together, corresponded a bit during college, and then lost touch.

years later i found out where he was somehow, by chance, so i sent him a postcard. all i wrote was "what would you do if you saw *two* hippos?" (a line from dylan thomas' "a child's christmas in wales," which i had given him in high school).

he wrote back immediately. he's now happily married, i'm very happily married, and yet we're back in touch, good pals again. i'm glad i did it.

Anonymous said...

Dreams like that are really powerful.

Terri said...

IITQ - Sound advice, thanks :)

Angel - ... and the guy called you a friend..? Ag shame! ;-)

Kyknoord - A good perspective, as usual, from the other side of the mountain.

Laurie - Great idea! Any idea where I can find a postcard of hippos? LOL! It's nice that you got in contact with your friend again. Hm, makes a girl think...

Jason - Indeed. I often have those - the ones that don't really leave you for a day or more.

beadinggalinMS said...

Google is my BFF!! :)

hhmmm wonder if I should google my old boyfriend!?!

chitty said...

I'm with KN, go for broke. That 15 years will just melt away.

Terri said...

Beads - I'm sure your old boyfriend would love you to, er, google him ;-)

Chitty - If I get slapped with a restraining order I'm blaming you and KN ...

buddess said...

I say contact him. I found a couple of our all classmates while I organized the reunion by doing google searches. They were pretty impressed. Maybe I should google myself but then I have never published anything or done anything to think that google will find me....
There is no harm in trying to find out what he is up to.

Terri said...

Buddess - you should definitely google yourself; you might be surprised ;) I must admit the impulse to contact him has passed - maybe I'll see him at our 20-year high school reunion in, er, a few (?!) years.