Thursday, December 08, 2005

Batty Maths 101

Below is an excerpt from Dublin's "Herald AM" newspaper yesterday, Wednesday 7 December 2005:

"Big testicles go together with tiny brains, according to a new study.
The discovery - which many women may not find that surprising - suggests that a biological trade-off has to be made between brains and sperm.
Because of the high energy demands, males cannot generate large numbers of both, scientists believe.
In the study of bats, females are unusully promiscuous, so natural selection pressure has led to males evolving enormous testicles, at the expense of their brains. The genitals of some make up 8.5% of their body mass.
In comparison, the testicles of apes range from 0.02% to 0.75% of body mass. Researchers found the link between testicle and brain size after looking at 334 different bat species.

Does this mean that we can assume that men who drive flashy cars are also intelligent, since it is generally accepted that a flashy car makes up for being, er, small?

I mean, if A=B and B=C then surely A=C right?

if big 'nads = tiny brains
small 'nads = flashy car
surely flashy car = big brain

Actually one can take this a little further by saying that flashy cars tend to cost a lot of money and in general you need a bit of smarts to make enough money to afford them, so really this is just proving the theory.

So ladies, spread the word - our choices are this:

Clever guy with flashy car who is under-endowed
dumb guy who can give you hours of pleasure in the sack (remember, he will probably be in good shape from having to walk everywhere 'cos his heap o'trash car keeps breaking down).

I guess this is where we tell ourselves it's his personality that counts?!

Oh well, I'm off to mourn the death of my Batman fantasies now...


beadinggalinMS said...

Dang it Terri!! Did you have to break the news to me this way?? haha

I soo wanted Batman cause of his big flashy pen eerrrr car!! ;)

Does the Incredible Hulk drive a flashy car??

Underachiever said...

How bout them raisins?

Undr (I am brainy then.)

PS: E-normous Testicles was my barbershop quartet's name in College. Or was that my school nurse's diagnosis. I can't remember.

PS this is too funny. Thanks for the laugh and the insecurities!

Lori said...

Why do you think women luv Superman he doesnt drive a car wink wink.

Ben O. said...

My first car was a '67 Mustang. I will be leaving with my less than gigantic balls now.

Funny post - Ben O.

kyknoord said...

I always thought Alfred was the brains behind the bat, so don't put those fantasies away just yet. Incidentally, my choice of commuter vehicle is a scooter. Just sayin'.

anne said...

Think of the superbrainy guy who... ah bugger, it doesn't work, does it.

banquo said...

I used to like the big dumb ass guys with no car and lots of "muscle" - so to speak, but now I am older and wiser I prefer someone with a bit more brain power and money - the muscle can be worked on - he he

DelBoy said...

So what if you drive a mediocre car... like, say, a Nissan? Does that mean that brain size = testicle size?

Great post cuz!

Terri said...

Beadinggal no, the Hulk doesn't drive. He's too stoopid - so that fantasy is safe.
Undr I'm glad I could return the favour(s) :-)
Lori A-HA! I knew there had to be a reason!
Ben tee-hee yes that's right go back to your 4x4 SUV and sulk mwahahaha!
Kyknoord Thank you for trying to salvage that for me... but Batman was the one who drove the car after all :-(
Anne I know - screwed if you do, screwed if you don't. So to speak.
Banquo I do notice that as women get older they are less inclined to go for looks a.k.a. muscle... I mean all muscles turn to flab when they get old, no?
Del I think you might have found the solution for us!! Clever Cuz!!!!