Thursday, December 01, 2005

It always seems like a good idea at the time...

In a fit of girly-ness and because it didn't feel so very freezing cold when I woke up this morning I decided it would be a good day to once again brave the world in my skirt. Of course the skirt is not complete without my black suede boots. They look stunning together, if I may say so myself.
But... apparently suede boots are not waterproof. I know this now and in future will remember to check the barometer before I decide to give in to my feminine side. The barometer is never wrong - if it says it's going to rain, it will rain.
This morning, although I didn't actually check it, I'll bet it said "Don't even think about leaving home without your brolly!"
Fortunately I NEVER leave home without my brolly.
Unfortunately I was wearing my lovely suede boots.
Fortunately I still had a spare pair of shoes under my desk at work (they are too uncomfortable to walk very far in so in Summer I wear comfy shoes to get to work and then change into the pretty shoes when I get there) because after wading through the puddles between the station and the office my pretty suede boots were soaked through and my toes were wet.

It's okay, though, because the shoes actually look quite good with the skirt too. I hope the boots are dry by the time I leave work this afternoon though. Putting on wet shoes is not fun, no matter how pretty they are.

But enough about the ups and downs and ins and outs of my feet.

I have something of an announcement today.


In two days' time my stepchildren and their cousin arrive for a 5-week visit. Yay! But you knew that already.
What most of you don't know yet is that it would appear I am about to become full-time stepmom to my 15-year old stepdaughter.
That's right, full-time.
Yes, it looks like she's coming to live with us for good.
{nervous giggle}
I'll give you a moment to stop laughing and pick yourselves up from the floor.
May I continue?
Thank you.

So I bet there are those of you out there wondering What The Hell Am I Thinking???
You may be right.
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lu-natic you're looking for...
Sorry, got distracted there for a moment - wasn't Billy Joel fabulous?

Back to my announcement. Questions, questions, so many questions...
1: Terri, what the hell are you thinking?
Well yes, I know I made a choice in life to not have children, but see, the step-kids are kind of my loophole. 'Cos actually I love them a LOT and I would do pretty much anything for them - I've known them since they were wee brats. The first time I met them I arrived at their Dad's house and jumped into the swimming pool fully clothed. It was really hot and I had just driven from Jo'burg to PE - around 1000km - by myself and all I wanted was to cool off. Well at ages 4 and 5 they thought this was just the coolest thing ever... and I eventually became the coolest Stepmom ever.
So when she said she had decided that it would the best thing for her to finish her education over here in Ireland, saying "No" never really entered my mind.
So yes, I have had the occasional moment of sheer panic at the thought, but on the whole, I'm quite excited about having her here full-time.

2: Terri, what the hell do you know about raising 15-year-old girls?
Now come on, people, surely you must realise that I was once a 15-year-old girl myself! How hard can it be? Er, no, I haven't forgotten. Not at all. In fact I remember like it was yesterday. Which means I know what she's thinking, hehe. No wool is gonna be pulled over my eyes, no way, uh-uh!
(Ah, be nice now, let me live in my little fantasy world, okay?)

3. Terri, do you have any idea of the impact this is going to have on your life?
A small one, yes. For example, this probably means I'm going to have to learn to cook again. Mind you, she's 15 - surely she can cook? And iron? And scrub toilets... hey, this might actually turn out to be a really good move, mwahahahaha!

But yes, seriously, this could be a really huge change in our lives.
We will have to schedule our holidays to fit in with the school holidays.
We will have to move house - a 2-bedroomed apartment is just not going to cut it.
Which means we will be looking at buying a house.
Since she has 3 years left of school, we will be staying in Ireland at least another 3 years, instead of thinking about going back to SA a year from now.

Phew! I think that list is big enough for now, don't you?!

On the other hand, she will be here, with us, and it will mean that much less heartbreak at being separated from the people we love.

So in my mind it will all be balanced out.

Now, does anyone know where I can buy a nice, sturdy chastity belt...?


anne said...

Wasn't Billy Joel fabulous?!
In all... honesty? Yeah, OK, some of it. But you're off to a very rocky start if you mention him to a 15-year old, I'm sure. ;)

DelBoy said...

You'll be a cool mum! If she's mature enough to realise that she wants to finish school over there instead of in SA, then she's streets ahead of where I was at age 15! At 15 all I wanted to do was play rugby and spend time with my girlfriend - no thoughts of Matric or Uni!

And BTW, you're a great cook! I can vouch for that. Just don't serve her brussel sprouts!! ;-)

Thanks again for a great few days in Ireland!

Mom said...

If you can't find that chastity belt, just remember this phrase...
"I know all the other girls are allowed to - (sleep over, go to night clubs, have a glass of wine, etc. etc.)- but while you are living under my roof......"

Terri said...

Anne - good point. Please feel free to offer any more words of wisdom :-)

Del - and BANG! goes my plan to wiggle out of the cooking thing...

Mom - LOL!!! I can actually hear your voice as I'm reading your comment!

beadinggalinMS said...

Breath deeply and say I can do this no problem, no problem at all!!
You will be a cool mom :)

BUDDESS said...

Ag nee man. That means you guys will be gone so much longer. Sorry, just being selfish again. All jokes aside, 15 year olds are very clever people indeed. It probably is the worst age to be. Not a kid anymore, but yet not an adult. No wonder they get so difficult at times. Fortunately it doesn't last long. Enjoy this gift given to you!! I am so happy for you because I know deep down, you are a great mom!!

Bosbefok said...

If their arent any of those sturdy Chastity belts around , i think i better join a clay pigeon club and get a shotgun ..:-)

Lori said...

Oh what fun you are going to have in Terriland. All kidding aside I bet you are an excellant mom.

Terri said...

beadinggalinMS - OK... "I can do this no problem, no problem at all!!"
Thanks I feel better already :-)

Buddess - Ah that's ok, we'll still come & visit.

bosbefok - Ja cos 15-year old girls love it when their Dad takes pot-shots at their boyfriends...

Lori - Time will tell, but thanks for the vote of confidence.

banquo said...

Hey Terri, I am full time step mom to TWO, I repeat two boys aged 12 and 9. It is hard, I can garantee you that - but parenting of any sort is really tough. Some advice though - if I may be so presumptuous.

Dont try to be the disciplanarian, just build up a friendship. Dont let the boundries of friends and stepmom get blurred either. Children dont ask for divorce or stepmoms and dads and sometimes without them realising it they feel guilty about having a good relationship with the stepparent. So if they go on about their mom/dad and all the stuff they have and do, it's just a way of working it out inside. Just make sure she knows you love her, you're there for her and you will always be on her side as long as she is honest and respects you.

Good luck, I hope this has helped a bit if anything. This is just what I have learned over 8 years cause I had no-one to tell me these things so I made HUGE COLLOSAL (hope it's spelled right) mistakes on the way. But so we learn. I will be praying for you.

banquo said...

Now I read my post and it sounds like I am just waffling. I dont think you wont be a good mom. I do in fact think you will be fantastic at it. I am not sorry I am a stepmom - I love my boys like mad and we have loads of fun!! So anyway, I hope still that it is at least a teeny bit helpful.


Terri said...

Banquo - Thank you, that is sound advice indeed. Fortunately I have known them both since they were really small and so far we have always had a great relationship. I suppose it's "the boundaries of friends and stepmom" that will be the toughest part about this thing but I'm sure we'll muddle through it together.

Jeff said...

terri- Despite what minor reservations you might have about this "new" addition, what I read in this is the pure and simple love you have for your step-children and their love for you.
Have fun. :)

Underachiever said...

ewwww! Don't they still have cooties at that age?

undr(cootie free since 93)

PS You're doing the right thing. You are a good steppy-step mom. Also, I sorta did the same thing at a pool once, but it was more like I got attacked by renegade children and they pushed me in. Love ya!

Terri said...

Jeff - Yep, and in just one day we're already having fun. She loves shopping as much as I do :-)

Undr - I think they spray special anti-cootie stuff through the airconditioning on long-haul flights, so we're safe on that front (phew!)

LiVEwiRe said...

Wow - miss a few days and things certainly do change, don't they!!?? When you were talking about cooking and ironing, etc, I kept thinking of Mommy Dearest...'no more wire hangers!' =) This will be a huge change. I think you can do it, but I think it will be a huge change. Be prepared to have your things 'borrowed' at will... I say congrats; it sounds exciting!

Terri said...

LiVEwIRE - Glad you're back :-) Yes, at this stage exciting and scary are kind of interchangeable. Haha, Mommy Dearest ...! (how is it possible you know me so well and yet we've never met...?lol!)

kyknoord said...

Well, at least you can give her good advice about when and where not to wear suede boots.

Terri said...

LOL! Kyknoord - that's already been taken care of! We went shopping yesterday and bought her a pair of non-suede boots that she can wear in any weather.